Monday, March 28, 2011
♥
10:40 PM
我还没把你忘掉，怎么办？希望这个你已不来这个地方，探望这个坟墓。真的不像你知道我还...算了。 一首歌简述我们的感情：
管不着-Selina 一段感情 只剩下话题不敢思索过去和你的甜蜜那双天真眼睛有没有人会珍惜最爱的小点心她会不会学着去料理只是 你的一切我再也管不着不能管你喝了几杯心情好不好身上穿得什么颜色也不是我来挑亲吻的味道 也变了你已把我忘掉只是你的一切我再也管不着你不在我的怀抱不稀罕我的好不能照顾你的人生不能敲你的门如果我遗憾 我承认但你已陌生..
Friday, September 3, 2010
♥
2:17 AM
大家大概都听我诉苦道听腻了吧，所以才不听我的来电。
没办法，只好在这里把心中的话泼出来，反正有没有人会看。
23/8：我正式不再为分手难过。
今天，和淑婷在通电话。
淑婷和我说，他昨天在巴士站看到那个他和她，与其他朋友一起。
淑婷特别强调那个他，对她的眼睛里有爱慕，似乎喜欢上她了。
我说：“我不在乎，他的事关我什么事？”，并且把话题转到其他的事情上。
放了电话，我进去房间，拥有我每天该有的一人世界。
闭上眼睛沉静，却发现办不到，因为满脑子都在香淑婷和我提的事。
我不再爱他，已经没有权力去爱他。
为什么分手这件事情我还困扰着我。
他说因为她妈妈发现了我们的关系，所以被逼分手。
我不相信。
想把这些事情抛到脑后，突然领悟到，那谎言只是一个借口，他其实早已不爱我。
也许，当时，他已经喜欢上她，所以才想和我分手。
不然，分手后，他怎么似乎完全不在乎？
这是我的推测。
我不想作判断，他始终是我的学弟，最算他大我一岁。
（事实上，他的智商其实只有14岁，不像表面上显着的那么成熟。）
在戏剧社里，我还是得面对他，为了避免尴尬，还是让他在我的记忆里留下较好的印象，以免我感情用事，公私不分，被他人指责，被他人骂。
自从23/8开始，我每次看到他，就会问自己，我还爱他吗？
但是无论问了多少次，都无法找到答案。
也许我还喜欢着他，只是在欺骗自己而已，而在过程中也在欺骗朋友，不让他们发现，不让他们为我担心。
毕竟，谁每分手过？
这点痛，不值得让他们为我瞎操心。
我自己痛了，麻痹了，时间长了，伤口就一定会复合，最算在我的心里留下一道疤痕也无所谓。
小伤口：
这点小伤口
很快就愈和
留下浅浅疤痕 当作纪念
多幽默
只是小伤口
那又为什么
虽是碰
就随时痛
我不像忘记你：
我努力想起你
笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你
再学会放弃
我努力想起你
哭也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
Friday, August 20, 2010
♥
5:56 AM
our relationship.
started on 16th June,ended on the 18th August.
Exactly 2 months 2 days.
In this period of time,I've experienced the content narrated in the song 下雨天.
but i must say,thank you for letting me like you.
thank you for earning experience from this relationship.
thank you for the hurting,thank you for the smiles that you made me put on willingly for you,faked or not.
Thank you for letting me know that I can be loved,too.
I believe that in the early days,we liked each other.
It takes two hands to clap.
You were passionate in the beginning,but I avoided you,for I did not know how to react to all of those..my bad.
You began to drift away from me later.
I kept finding excuses for you when friends asked me why you weren't with me,meanwhile deceiving myself you were very busy with things more important.
When friends asked me about our development,and I told them,they shook their heads in disbelief at first,then as days grew,they shook their heads in disappointment, and told me that they feel that you very what.
I wanted to defend for you,but I was really too tired for all these,I was afraid I might just let out the repressive thoughts and feelings I've been bottling,so I just smiled and shrugged,Aiya,nvm lah!(:
Meanwhile another round of self-deception was taking place inside me.
I shared an inner piece of thought with a very close and experienced friend of mine about our relationship and development.It's a she.
She was usually very positive and will ask me not to think too much,she will ask me to smile.
Instead of repeating all she normally does,she told me you are not a good boyfriend.
I asked her to explain.I would not go into the details.
After hearing her explanation,a tear trekked down my cheek.
Then she asked me to clear some things with you.
I consulted another friend of mine on this,she agreed with my other close friend,but also told me that I cannot expect as much from our relationship as compared to her relationship with her boyfriend,her boyfriend is a very good guy.Not that I am saying you arent one,but he's a very good boyfriend.
That's what I told myself,until I couldnt stand the feeling of going home alone every time I thought I could find you as my companion,the loneliness at night waiting for your call or message that never came.
I smsed you about it and I hoped that things would improve.Yes,it did for the next day,but not the day after.
I decided to ignore you until you notice that I wasnt talking to you.Bad move,it made you feel that we were drifting further away.
Not long after,you raised the break-up.
I expected it to come one day,so I'm not too surprised when your sms arrived.
But I did feel the hurt nevertheless,despite saying that I didnt in my sms.
What hurts me more is your insensitivity.
I'm breaking down bit by bit.
I haven't got over the pain,even though I put on a happy front.
I'm still hurting,the wound ever opening bigger as I tell friends that we've broken up.
maybe i'll even laugh about it someday,but not today,no.
so i can explain the part on your insensitivity.
even though i said we were still friends,
i still cringe at your presence.i dont know why.
give me some time,i will adapt.
meanwhile,continue acting as if nothing happened,yeah?(:
thats..if you read this post.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
♥
5:13 AM
I dont think anyone knows about this,
I told other people before,
but I think lots have forgotten.
In my heart,
I have a few positions ranking Family,Friends and Love
1st goes to Friends,then Love then Family.
Social Interview asked me before whether I will give up someone I like for a very close friend.
My reply was,"yes."
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
♥
8:16 AM
I remember it was long long ago since I liked him.
Many things happened between us.
So many that I almost thought he didnt like me
that I thought I was foolish to like someone who will not like back.
I remember being the middle person between him and another friend.
Watching a girl go crazy over him.
Listen to that girl thinks she like him.
Until she found her other half.
Then came another friend who likes him
using me as an excuse to get close to him.
didnt really mind,cause she's someone close to me.
Now comes a fan club.
A 2-person fan club.
Like Singapore,you cannot underestimate them due to the size of the club.
It's...overwhelming.
*shivers*
So I thought it was time to give up,
esp after the time we went to Pixar thing.
The contradictory feeling was getting me all uncomfortable and fed up.
And he sort of topped it up by (I THOUGHT) hinting for me to give up.
WELL,i was wrong..?
Anyways..
he confessed..
took me quite a while to really absorb everything.
I'll never forget this date: 16th June 2010.
He's going to Hainan tmr!;(
'll miss him, he claims to,too.
it is a bit wrong..
cause i was the one who told him i'll miss him..
yeah..*looks away*
Went to listen to songs,
found this song that suits my feelings.
Singderella
一早醒来，你重重的头躺在我的胸怀
缘分到底是跨越多少障碍
才把你送过来
送到我的身边来疼爱
小心灌溉 将所有快乐程式一一下载
可知我熬过多少寂寞空白
多少孤单等待
才把心爱的你给换来
我好不确定 不相信 你看在眼里
你说别怀疑 深呼吸 爱了不准停
singderella 微笑绽放
梦想不再只是童话
你是心底深处
最原始的愿望
浪漫的情节我们用心品尝
singderella 心花怒放
迎接所有祝福眼光
把你藏在角落
安静自己欣赏
你是我的保藏不愿与人分享
Smile like you Have nEver done befoRe ;D
Thursday, April 1, 2010
♥
12:23 AM
hello
long time no post.hahaha
just came back from sports day,at library now.
so happy,yellow house 3rd place leh!
1st time!!:D:D:D
woohoo~
Yellow House,lets aim for 1st/2ns next year yeah?
JIA YOUS!;D
i still havent take off the yellow streak in my hair,its so cool!
Thanks Agnes,you did great on the tracks,brought glory to our house,you know?:D
The rest of you too,especially the seniors and what-is-her-name-the-lower-sec-person,im sorry i dont know your name..
ARGH,you ALL did great,yellow or non-yellow house!
going to train tmr for NAPFA test.its around the corner and the last thing i want to fail is my 2.4km run.
must go running,getting fatter too. :P
oops,i just leaked out to yuanteng just now who i like.NVM!Its okay,i only left about 20 to 30% liking for him now.
its so funny nobody can guess it.hahahha!
nobody has that sir name right!
hehhee~
okay,dont have much time left on the computer.
signing off,wish me good luck in my studies,gonna chiong that too tmr.
byebye~(:
P.S.I love yellow house,muacks!so proud of us(:
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
♥
3:31 AM
I dont feel like blogging.
Let the songs' lyrics say it all..
笑着流泪偶尔会上演催泪的情节但剧终这天却太快就上演风迎面吹泪却逆着飞爱恨的中间没有平衡点...切割从前说好不流泪却剩两条泪笑着流泪...泪蔓延街夜寂寞了夜风柔抚着脸轻轻的再见..im sorry.