Friday, August 7, 2009
♥
5:54 AM
MANY things happened these three days.
I had a mixture of feelings.Devastation.Accused.Unjustified.Emotional.Happiness.Enthusiasm.Comforted.Being understood.Touched.Protected.Determined To Move On.
On Wednesday during morning assembly,after the prefects finished their job on stage,Teacher A and B had a presentation to make.
De four of us went backstage and became damn high because of the nice songs.Me,SiXuan,EdwinGoh and EeSiong.
We were moving some sort to the tune of the song.
Ms Lim was at the side of the hall where she can see everything backstage.
Every Single Thing.
Fidgeting,she thinks what it was.
Then,when the song was played,Teacher A mouthed something to Teacher C.But the music was damn loud.cant hear a thing.Teacher C only got a few words like Prefects,Class Monitors.
So she thought it was to ask the prefects to lead the song.
She asked us to do it.
The four of us dont know how to sing.Dont really know the tune of the song.So we pushed this to one another,the four prefects.
Also Fidgeting.
Then,Teacher C asked me to make an announcement to get the prefects and class monintors up on stage to lead the song.I did as I was told.
Teacher A gave me that strange look on her face.Didnt know what was that.Say "NONONO.I meant to get the class monintors to stay back to meet me after this."
I was in a state of shock already.Moreover,I disgraced myself in front of the whole school.
Teacher C took over the microphone and spoke the announcement.
Got really emo.
Went to General Office to return the announcement book.
Teacher D saw me.In that state.
He asked me whether everything was fine.I said it was okay.
He told me that he could feel that I was remorseful over the incident and offered his help if i needed.
I nodded and smiled.
Exited the office and emo-ed back to class.
The Next Day.Thursday.Yesterday.
In the morning,reached the hall.Teacher E was there already.
I immediately felt that it was instant death if she saw me.
Kept a low profile since she was talking to Agnes.
She suddenly turned and asked me to go over to her.
She asked me what happened the day before.
Agnes knew that I was bound to get a scolding from her so she wanted to move away.Teacher E made her stay.
Not all the prefects were here yet.So she kept on "talking" until the Assistant Secretaries came to get the attendence book from her.
Then,she came back and seeing that everyone was here,Teacher E addressed the whole board regarding the matter.
I felt very guilty and everything.
What she said was right.I should have just rectifyed my mistake on the spot and tell the school about the actual announcement when Teacher A told me to.
and the fidgeting.
the pushing around portrayed to other people that the prefects are unwilling.I dont mind disgracing myself.But the whole board?No way.I felt really emotional.
Many people could see me being very down and went to comfort me.
My agitation was a bit in control.Managed to restrict my tears.
Then,during recess,Teacher A came to speak to me about that matter.
She explained to me the whole situation which wasnt known to me before that.
She told me it wasnt my fault.
My agitaion was added again.By a whole lot.
That time,I felt unjustified.I was like WHY?WHY did TeacherE schold me befoer she even know the whole incident?WHY did she jump to conclusions?
My agitation was way beyond me.As I see her walk away,I went back to class.Hid behind the front door and let my emotions flow.
My tears flooded me.It wasnt those short cries I usually have.Clogged a bit of my mind.
Didnt want to talk about the matter at all after that.
Didnt want my tears to flow out once more.
Agitation is my weakness.Greatest weakness in me.I finally realised it.After so long.
At night,I felt really guilty and thought through the whole incident calmly,including the words Ms Lim said to me that day.
I wrote an apology email to Teacher E and Teacher C to ask them to forgive me and stuff.
I then asked Waqiu whether it was really that obv that Ms Lim was sort of scolding me in the morning.
I told him what happened and he told me ways to make up for it.I felt better and sent an sms to Gianna to ask her to include me in the Teachers Day event she was in charge of if she needs any help.
Today
I felt much better after hearing Waqiu and his point of view.At least I knew that my actions would not cause me to get kicked out or something.
I got very enthusiastic together with the rest of the school in the event.
It is just the 2e1 spirit!Hahahaha.Okay sorry,thats a joke between me and a senior.
Yes.I know you may not believe me but that was really the case despite being on duty together with Ayesha.
We were like running every 15 to 30 minutes to the toilet to make sure they dont stay in there too long or something like that.
I was really happy and even happily told Teacher D that everything was okay when he asked me again.He's nice:D
I got home and got online.
Talked to YongYi on MSN and he called me to talk about the matter.
I was like How he know de?
Then he told me the excos-now and future had a meeting today after the celebration to talk about the matter.
I couldnt accept the fact at first.WHAT?!was my first reaction.
Then,as i gradually accepted it,I felt touched.Really Touched.
I felt comforted by the fact that the excos actually went to that extend for the welfare of us,prefects.
I felt protected too,somehow.
I feel lucky to be in Prefectorial Board.
I tell myself that no matter what happens to me,I will never regret that I am in Prefectorial Board.
I Really Do.
:)